Hellooo~
Very nice to see the viewer
number of my page is getting bigger, which means there are friends out there
who check up on my blog. I am thankful and I wish my blog could somehow
inspiring you.
For this post, I just want to
talk about the regretful unsatisfying things that I did in 2014 since I
have to evaluate myself in the past year before I move on to the new year with
the new resolution to be better than the previous one.
Most of the 2014 were not really good for me. Since there were
lot of things happened to the family (Me, Mom, and Dad), the most regretful
thing that I think I ever done in 2014 is when I have arguments with Mom and
Dad for almost every day. Those days were terrifying and I felt at loss. Since Mom
and Dad are live in Manado (3 hours and 20 minutes with plane to Manado, which
is a province in another island), we communicating most with call and text. The
call started with simple talking and normal tone, but later we argued until we
have no idea what kind of words were spilled out. We cried, and later we
started to drift apart. Because I knew that there will be another arguing
session, I started not call her and avoid her call. I gave lots of excuses why
I didn’t give her a call or not reply her text. I knew that she was heartbroken
because of me, but I keep insisted that I need a break from this argue moments.
I didn’t focus much with my work, and when I focus the tears could come out
without I realized.
I really feel guilty for my
mom who went through such hardships because of me and I wish I could treat her
better. I want to heal her heartbroken and I want her this year more filled
with laughter rather than tears.
And because of the hard time I
went through, lots of work were unfinished or even worst; abandoned. That’s
also one thing that unsatisfied me for last year. Projects were delayed because
of me lack in time coordination.
June to December 2014 was the
worst half year of my life. I wasn’t enjoying every vacation, and all I did was regretting all the decision I’ve made. I think those time was really the
downfall of our family. I can barely managed to crawled up again in the
December 2014 and even it’s still not very good right now, but I know that we
are recovering slowly. I know that God must be helping us, and everything will
be better in the end. If the things are not getting better, I know that me,
Mom, and Dad, will getting better when handle it. So that much is also an
improvement.
It’s not that I can using the
time machine to go back and re-do the unfinished one, but I can reflect a lot
from it, and I can make all the past barriers to be my stepping stone, my
motivator to come through another hardships in 2015.
I hope all the readers can
also reflect through the things that haven’t been completed properly in 2014
and make another new challenges to be better in 2015.
Thank you for reading this
post until the end, and I wish you have the best day!
Until next time,
Rere.
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